What did the mathematician get when he solved a probability equation?

Satisfraction.

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A mathematician was trying to cross a river. He had six kids with him before crossing, but only five after. What happened?

He forgot to carry the one.

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Why did the mathematician quit being a detective?

He ran across an ambiguous case.

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Why did the math empire fall?

Too much division.

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How do you settle an argument between a lumberjack and a beaver?

Refer to the log laws.

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What’s a math loving beaver’s favorite type of music?

Log-a-rhythm.

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Our lives are like the forces within an accelerating frame of reference: they don’t add up.

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Life is like the law of conservation of linear momentum: you get back what you put in.

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Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?

She’s definitely plotting something.